Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
