forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
