btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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