Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
