ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
