He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
i think im in europe. pls send help
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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