Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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