The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I FOUND THE LEGS
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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