apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize