Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
