When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
