just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Girls should come with a carfax report
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
