mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
