batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
