So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
