can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
