After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
