My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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