There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
