Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
