she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
