What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
