3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
