I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
