I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
