Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize