Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
