I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
