Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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