I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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