i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
