I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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