New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
