You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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