stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
