She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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