I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
they're like a gay fantastic four
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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