Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize