Its about making memories worth repressing
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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