I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
A+ Viking dick
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
