How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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