Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
