I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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