Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize