I've blown a few things in my day
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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