I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
well you can't waste a boner
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Bring me that man meat
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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