I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We left an ass print on the piano.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
