google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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