My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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