i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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