hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
MIDGETS
????
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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