I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
