I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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