Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
