Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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