Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you would pick up someone in the library
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Couch. On fire.
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