the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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