yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
