she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize