What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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