My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
