thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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