ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
