butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
