it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
