NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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