My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My liver just had a heart attack.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize