I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize