The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
