He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
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Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
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We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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