well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
