Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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